Holding the Mirror and the Hand: What Adolescence Reveals About Boys, Rage, and Responsibility – Guest Blog

Netflix’s new drama Adolescence is more than a gripping crime story, it’s a provocative lens into the emotional lives of boys, exploring the roots of male rage, the digital radicalisation of young minds, and the psychological cost of emotional repression. Set against the backdrop of a fictional stabbing, the series offers a nuanced portrayal of adolescent vulnerability, masculinity, and the silent generational traumas passed from father to son.

Drawing on insights from developmental psychology and real-world therapeutic observations, the piece explores how normative male alexithymia, boys’ difficulty expressing emotions, can lead to shame, denial, and even violence. It also examines how online spaces like incel forums and influencer echo chambers compound these issues. Importantly, the article offers a hopeful path forward, highlighting government-backed education initiatives and the urgent need for emotional literacy, therapy access, and compassionate adult guidance.

Timely and necessary, this piece will resonate with educators, parents, and policy-makers alike, anyone invested in supporting boys before they break.

There has been a great deal of conversation among teachers and parents sparked by the recent Netflix drama Adolescence, a fictional story of a 13-year-old boy who is accused of stabbing a girl, and the factors that could have turned him into a killer. The Netflix series is however more than a drama, it is a chilling, yet necessary mirror held up to society, asking us to reconsider what we know about male emotional development, the digital world’s influence on identity formation, and the cost of our own emotional silence. The issues explored in Adolescence, particularly the emergence of male rage, susceptibility to online radicalisation, and the moral disengagement involved in acts of violence, can be explored from several different psychological perspectives.
Developmental psychologists have long considered adolescence one of the most turbulent periods of human life. It is a time of identity formation, increasing autonomy, and a desperate desire for acceptance, yet also confusion, insecurity, and emotional volatility. What Adolescence so powerfully captures is the psychological cost of male emotional suppression. In therapy, male clients commonly express anger and frustration when they feel emotionally cornered or ashamed, but underneath this is often deep confusion, humiliation, and unmet emotional needs.

Psychologist Ronald Levant coined the term “normative male alexithymia” to describe the culturally reinforced inability of many boys and men to identify and express emotions, especially sadness and fear. Rage becomes the only socially permissible outlet. Adolescence is therefore a phase full of instability and transition. Teenagers like Jamie are not simply miniature adults, they are emotionally raw individuals navigating an internal battle between dependency on their caregivers and the need for autonomy. In the midst of this unpredictable psychological environment the internet has given our young people unprecedented access to harmful ideologies. Incel culture and manosphere influencers like Andrew Tate foster rigid, misogynistic beliefs that reinforce young boys’ worst fears: that they are unlovable, powerless, and excluded. These spaces reward blame, pessimism, and violent fantasy in place of empathy and vulnerability. The series shows this creep into Jamie’s world subtly but effectively, where unchallenged online influences begin to shape his world view, and his behaviour.

In many male adolescents, shame becomes so unbearable that they retreat into denial, projection, or rage. In Adolescence, Jamie’s refusal to accept responsibility can be seen through the lens of toxic shame, not “I did something bad,” but “I am bad.” Shame that cannot be processed often leads to externalised behaviour, blaming others, attacking, or withdrawing, which can have tragic consequences when left unchecked. The series does not just focus on Jamie, it also shows us Eddie, his father, caught in his own cycle of inherited emotional repression. In therapy, many men voice a fear of “becoming like their fathers,” but lack the emotional tools to do otherwise. We see how unprocessed trauma, intergenerational violence, and gendered expectations get passed down silently and violently.

What Can Be Done?

Prevention does not begin in the courtroom, it begins in the conversations we have with boys when they are confused, scared, or ashamed. Open, age-appropriate discussions about relationships, consent, emotions, and the impact of media are vital. So too is emotional literacy education in schools, access to therapy, and positive male role models who show strength in sensitivity, not domination.

In January of this year the Executive launched a £3.2 million ‘Ending Violence Against Women and Girls’ (EVAWG) Change Fund to support community-based action aimed at preventing violence. The Education Authority (EA) has developed resources to support schools in raising awareness of these crucial issues. ‘The Power to Change: Changing Attitudes, Behaviours and Beliefs’ programme is designed to educate students about healthy relationships and the prevention of gender-based violence.

As health professionals, educators and parents we must therefore seize this opportunity to work collaboratively, not to rescue adolescents from consequences, but to provide safe, structured spaces where feelings can be explored rather than acted out. Adolescence reminds us that while media can reflect a dark reality, it can also guide us toward deeper understanding. If we are to break cycles of male rage, repression, and digital indoctrination, we must pair accountability with compassion, and challenge with support. As a society, we must learn to hold the mirror in one hand, and the hand of the young person in the other.

By Gavin Murphy
Integrative Counsellor & Coach

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